Kingsman Movie Review

“Now I’m gonna tell you my whole plan, and then I’m gonna come up with some absurd and convoluted way to kill you, and you’ll find an equally convoluted way to escape.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Well, this ain’t that kind of movie.”

This is the exchange between the main hero and villain of the 2014 film Kingsman: The Secret Service, from 20th Century Fox. Right before said villain shoots the hero in the head and kills him. In this, the first of my movie reviews, I will be going over this spy comedy film, and why it is a classic.

In my opinion, this is a King among spy movies, Man.

This film, loosely based on the comic series The Secret Service from 2012, follows a fictitious Britain based spy organization called ‘Kingsman’, with a tailor shop in London as their front. Each member of the Kingsman takes their codename from a member of the King Arthur mythos. The story primarily follows Agent Galahad (Colin Firth) as he simultaneously tries to mentor a youth named Gary ‘Eggsy’ Unwin (Taron Egerton) to take over an open position in the Kingsman after the death of his fellow Agent, Lancelot, and uncover a mystery surrounding eccentric American billionaire Richmond Valentine (Samuel L. Jackson). As it’s revealed, Valentine’s plan is to solve Earth’s overpopulation problem via mass genocide. However, things go awry when Valentine kills Galahad, following the exchange shown in the opening of this post, forcing Eggsy to step up and become the hero. Fortunately, he succeeds, and puts an end to Valentine’s schemes.

On the surface, this may seem like your average cheesy spy flick. While it can be a tad cheesy at times, believe me when I say there is much that sets it apart from your stereotypical spy movie. Let’s check off the stereotypes one by one, shall we?

First, the cast and characters. Many of the heroes seem the type you may see in a movie like this. The very British Colin Firth as Galahad and Michael Caine as Kingsman leader Arthur. Where it starts to deviate is with the Welsh Taron Egerton playing young upstart Eggsy. Unlike many spy movies, where everyone is a dapper, sophisticated British gentleman, Eggsy is more lower middle class and speaks with a lot of slang, as well as swear words. Lots of swear words. Even the sophisticated Brits let put their fair share of profanity. This movie was rated ‘R’ in America for a very good reason. The only more surprising casting choice is that of the villain. When people think of typical spy villains, they think of the James Bond type of megalomaniacal people with over-the-top plans and elegant British accents to match the heroes. The villain of Kingsman checks all but one of the boxes. He’s played by the very much American Samuel L. Jackson, and speaks with a prominent lisp. Not quite what you would expect, is it?

Another big departure is the complete subversion of spy movie cliches. As shown in the opening quotes, they completely do away with the whole ‘complicated death trap that the hero must escape’ bit, instead opting to have the villain just shoot the hero. This caught me completely off guard the first time I saw this movie. It also subverts the cliché of having the hero stop the villain’s plan mere moments before it’s too late. In this movie, the villain succeeds to an extent. As stated, his plan is to decrease the surplus population so as to not kill our planet by drying up resources trying to feed and care for everyone. But what sets Valentine apart from someone like Thanos, who wanted the same thing, is that Valentine tried to pick and choose who got saved, as opposed to a randomization process. And he chose to save the upper class, the world’s elite. Celebrities, rich people, royalty, and so on. Everyone else, he attempts to kill by forcing them to fight to the death via brainwashing. While he is stopped in the end, many do still end up dead before he is. That may sound horrible, but I see it as a breath of fresh air amongst spy movies.

Lastly, the biggest difference between Kingsman and the average Bond movie is in its humor. This is a spy comedy movie, and they do not skimp on the comedy part. For me, one of the funniest parts is in its soundtrack. This movie plays up tempo rock and pop songs during scenes that, in any other movie, would be extremely dramatic. For example, they play Lynyrd Skynyrd’s ‘Free Bird’ during a brawl involving the hero towards the end of the second act. And they play K.C and the Sunshine Band’s ‘Everybody Wants You’ when Valentine’s plan starts to unfold. And I can’t go without mentioning the dialogue. I believe my favorite line comes in a scene where Galahad is infiltrating a hate church and decides to openly antagonize them as he’s leaving.

“I’m a Catholic whore. Currently enjoying Congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon.”

I had a hard time breathing after this. In any other context, many would find this offensive, but since he’s openly mocking and satirizing a hate group and what they tend to stand for, I just find it funny.

Now this movie isn’t perfect. If I did have a criticism, it would be that the movie can be a bit too self-aware at times. More than once, they go out of their way to shout ‘We’re not like other spy movies. We’re different! See us being different?!’ If they did this once or twice, I wouldn’t mind. But they do it fairly consistently. That, some minor plot holes that I won’t mention for reasons pertaining to spoilers, and the fact that the CGI doesn’t always hold up the best, would be what I hold against the film.

But even so, those problems are fairly minor, and do little to take away from my enjoyment. And it did little to take away from the enjoyment of many other people, considering it spawned a sequel, Kingsman: The Golden Circle, in 2017, and a prequel, The King’s Man, in 2021, with another sequel on the way.

All in all, this was a great spy flick. I rate it a 9/10. I highly recommend it, and its follow ups. If you want a funny spy movie that breaks the mold and does absolutely nothing by the book, I heavily suggest that you check it out. But if you just want a by the numbers spy movie full of drama and serious moments, then, to quote Eggsy:

“This ain’t that kind of movie, bruv.”